The Group Chat Is Sacred: Black Female Friendship and Representation
Most Black millennial women I know have had a solid friend group (or groups). These women are funny, educated, fun, supportive, and nuanced. The conversations in the group chats are nonstop, ranging from reality television and politics to family drama. These sister circles are the emotional support systems for many women – they offer encouragement through the challenging times and are your biggest cheerleaders when you achieve a major life milestone. They are our chosen family and emotional survival.
Perhaps the relationships we fostered were a result of us replicating the Black female dynamics we grew up watching on television. The Black female friendship dynamics on shows like Living Single, and Girlfriends and more recently shows like Insecure, Run the World and Harlem gave us something to aspire to or at the very least, help serve as a reminder that oftentimes, these friendships are our lifeline. These shows aren’t exempt from critique, but maybe that’s why they resonated so deeply with Black women. Because as wonderful as our friendships are, they can also be complicated, messy and imperfect.
Black women are often celebrated for loyalty, strength, and community in real life, yet when we look at film and television today, those relationships are rarely depicted, and if they are, they lack the depth, understanding, and joy that embody the essence of Black female friendships.
Yes, I know, every industry, including Hollywood, is anti-Black right now. I don’t expect to see a wave of Black representation on screen, as we experienced in the 90s. But seeing Black women and their healthy friendships featured in television and film centers our experience. It tells the world that we’re not always shaking tables and throwing drinks at each other, but that we have a community and traditions that are important to us.
In a society that demands strength and achievement from us, seeing Black women love platonically matters. It matters because these stories humanize us beyond struggle and trauma. It teaches audiences that in a world that often feels like it’s built to systematically tear us down, we have stories that are worth sharing. So even if it is in the fantasy world of television and film, these stories affirm that Black women are worthy of being loved, affirmed, and protected.
Nonetheless, we will continue to choose each other despite living in a world that expects us not to.